What’s in a name?: Why I Changed My Name After Marriage
In the months leading up to my wedding I was struggling with whether or not to change my last name. I wanted to be sure our family (once we have kids) could share a name – be an easily defined unit – but I love my maiden name and feel incredibly connected to it. I couldn’t imagine a world where I wasn’t “Britt Logan.” Not to mention, I had already spent more than half a decade building a career with that name.
As I navigated this decision, I would cry at the thought of losing such an important part of my identity and then I would get angry. Angry that we live in a society that assumes I will change my name. I guarantee no one ever asked my husband, “Will you be taking Britt’s last name?” It was a big decision – and a complicated one – so I decided to process it in the best way I know: I wrote.
Below is the poem I wrote during this time – which also outlines my final decision and the meaning behind it.
“Britt Elianna.” The name I heard when my mom would scold me.
“Logan.” The name he calls when he tells me to “get it together.”
Britt Elianna Logan.
My name. My identity.
O what’s in a name?
“DiGiulio.” The name society has told me to take. A patriarchal assumption.
The question isn’t which name will we take? The question is, “Will you take his?”
Britt Elianna. Britt Elianna Logan.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
So then why do I weep for my identity? Why do I mourn my name?
O what’s in a name?
Britt Elianna Logan DiGiulio.
Five capital letters. Five I’s. Eleven syllables.
Long – edging on obnoxious. But also the only name that makes sense.
Britt. Elianna. Logan. Three names that capture me.
Elianna. A gift my mom created, comprised of pieces of the women who raised me.
Logan. My clan. My people. I pledge allegiance to this name.
O what’s in a name?
DiGiulio. An opportunity to join as one. A name that connects me to my new family – an extension of the old. Not a replacement.
So why should I replace my clan? Why should his name be more a part of me than the part of me that’s always been?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Never.
So add it is.
DiGiulio. A new name for my collection. A new piece of me, placed right there amongst the pieces that carried me this far.
Britt Elianna Logan DiGiulio.
A new identify of sorts. But one that sounds almost as familiar as he’s always felt to me. A new name to carry me into the future we are about to build.
-Britt Elianna Logan (almost) DiGiulio, August 2019
Have you had a similar struggle? What did you decide to do and why? Tell me in the comments below!
